What exactially is expected of you when you're in love? Is there some specific rule book that says you must say certen things at certen times, act certen ways when certen things go down, or be a specific person and make the sacrafices that all others make every time?

I must be a non-conformist when it comes to love. I've always thought of it as a different thing than everyone else. I don't tend to sacrafice everything in my life for someone else. I don't cut myself off from other people, I don't care-take to a feeling, or get whipped and fall down the second a woman gives me the "puppy whine". You want to give me the whine? Then I guess you are how you act. I'm not into dating a dog.

I see such pathetic people who are "in love" .They cower to thier mates every whim. Begging for accecptance, wishing for gratification, all because they feel that one single mistake is going to drive the other person away. Oh and it's not limited to love! I've seen this crap in friendships too.

Wake the living hell up people. Friends and loved ones are going to stick around after a fight. You can act like yourself, because (and I know this is going to be a hard concept to grasp to most people in this world) they might have just fallen in love for who you are and all you do when you become that little wuss then you end up being nothing more than a flippin lapdog.

What is the deal people? Everyone nowadays is either a complete jackass, unable to get a decent girlfriend, a complete moron unable to figure out what to DO with a girlfriend, or a complete pussy able to get a good girlfriend but unable to keep them due to the fact they don't have the balls to say what they need to say or do what they need to do.

Let me tell you something. The purpose of love is for you to get hurt! What? Don't believe me? Well, it's just as true as the point of Living is to eventually die. It always happens, it never fails. When you get into a relationship, it becomes so much easier if you don't expect it to last forever, and you know that it's going to end.

It's like knowing you're going to die soon, but you don't know when. You take alot less for granted. You enjoy what time you have. You want to stay around for a long time, and sometimes you can grab onto some borrowed time... heck maybe it'll even last until the end of your life, but one of you has to die sometime. You will leave the other behind, and they will hurt. They will cry, they will miss you. There is absolutely no avoiding the fact that someone will always get hurt when you fall in love. Realize this and it becomes alot easier.

Have the guts to be yourself around a person. I'm not saying be a dick. Make the comprimise to another person to make them comfortable, but don't go out of your way and bend to thier will. If they don't like smoking, you can go into the other room so it doesn't bother them but don't quit for them. If they're not of the same religion, you don't have to talk to God about them but don't hide your religion because they don't believe in it.

You still have the right to be your own person. Any changes and any way you act while you're in a relationship had better be your own choice, otherwise you're shortening the relationships lifespan. Each and every thing you do aginst your own will is a fight you will have later on that will blow up into mega perportions.

And, God forbid, if it does end don't sit and wallow in your own pity. This is the absolute most unattractive and by far the most idiotic thing a person can do. I understand the first couple of times, sometimes it can really hurt, but damn! You have got to stop whining about everything you lost and start remembering everything you had. It's gone, so what? Doesn't change the fact you had fun from point A to point B. You're acting like a kid who spent all day at Disney Land, had a blast, and is now bitching and crying that you're leaving, acting like it was the worst time in the world. You will get another chance to ride the mother fawkin rollercoaster and to grab Micky Mouse on the ass one day! NOW SHUT UP!

Moral of the story? Learn to love correctly. Don't hold your tongue, don't hide your balls, and don't act like losing is the end of the world. There is NO KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR. There is NO CORRECT WAY TO ACT. There is only you, and that's the person that they fell in love with. That's the person you should be.

Before you read!

Scroll to the bottom and answer the poll!

Now that you've answered the question, and I hope you did, we can get to my thoughts on the subject. One thing I ask is that if you use the poll, please post a comment so I know how many people voted. You don't have to say how you voted, just if you did or not.

The thought came to my head when my brother started on his little rant today. He is, possibly, one of the rudest people I know. However, I'm going to give my opinion on the matter and let you guys fill in the social acceptance of rudeness and such in comments. Please, take a look over this mans comments and give your own opinion, maybe with your help I can help this man.

Who here has heard the words Please or Thank You? Who here has done something wrong, and said I'm Sorry? These phrases are said nearly every day by each and every person you can imagine. They are common courtesy, used to calm those around us and make everything be pushed forward in a timely manner. Someone does you a favor : You say thank you. Someone makes a mistake : They appologize. This is how most people work, it's just good manners.

What happens when someone doesn't have those manners? What happens when you do something for someone and they don't thank you? What happens when someone insults you, you inform them, and they don't appologize?

The common answer to this question is : Not much. A word might be said about it, but one offense is pretty easily overlooked. However, a collective number of offenses will eventually cause this person to be labled Rude.

Rude is a very blunt term. Now for those of you who do not know the correct usage of the word rude, it means to be lacking the graces and refinement of civilized life;  uncouth, or to be ill-mannered or discourteous.

My brother is one of these "rude" people. He has the following thoughts on a few subjects :

"Just because you were offended doesn't mean I was trying to offend you. It's your fault for taking it the wrong way, that's not what I ment. I will not appologize for your mistake."

"I just don't say I'm Sorry, or Thank you. This is how I am, everyone's allowed to be who they want to be, aren't they? Why should I change for someone else?"

"There's not enough time in life to argue, why should we fight about what I said? Aren't there more important things going on?"

"I may be bad at a few things, I will admit I'm not perfect, but I could be far worse. I could just become a complete jerk and run around telling everyone to shut the F up."

Now, some of you might ask "Well isn't he going to get upset if he sees that you're displaying his private life and actions to the public?", and to this I respond that he doesn't seem to be at all ashamed of the way he is. With this belief fueling my fingers, I don't see a single problem with displaying this information. This is no different than telling you that I went to the Zoo today, this is just his normal day actions. He wasn't acting out, he wasn't trying to start crap. This is truely how he is.

Here are a few things I'd like your opinion on that happened recently :

I have a flaw with how I read things, my mind works much too fast for my mouth to sometimes catch up. Tonight I was reading the word Firebreath, and accidentally said Firebreathe. My brother starts laughing at me.

I find this offensive, because he is in truth laughing at a reading disorder I have no matter how accute it may be. I feel insulted, and ask him to stop. He does not appologize and just says "but it's funny!". He continues to chuckle as I sit there and steam, not trying to start an argument.

Later on, as I am looking through a few things I walk into his room about to play a game. I mention something on a strategy I'm thinking of, and he calls it stupid in a tone that is, as well, insulting dispite the fact that it's a global strategy and not one pinpointed towards him as an individual. This hits me the wrong way, but I feel that nothing needs to be said. I walk out of the room considering the fact he plops down on his bed and starts watching a movie instead of getting set up for the game and the fact that I feel insulted.

He later comes to be asking if we're going to play or not, and while looking through some things again I calmly say "I just don't feel like playing right now, man." and this seems to agravate him to no end. He says "Fine, whatever. Gah." in an obviously agravated tone. He storms into his room and back onto his bed. I go to ask him what his problem is, and he says something about me being ticked off at him, and how there is not enough time in life for being angry. ( This is an agrument he tries alot, especially when he has nothing else to say back or knows what he wants to say is wrong. He obviously does have a sense of right and wrong, and understanding of what is not socially accecptable.)

We have an argument for a while, and after him using blank ended points and logic that does nothing but try to open up it being ok for him being rude, and me being called too sensitive many times as well as a hot head (Because so many things he said insult me, or becaues I like to argue too much while conviently missing the facts that the arguments would not be there if he did not insult me to begin with or that even if I was sensitive,which I am not, that it's not an excuse that allows him to be rude.) the argument ended with me saying :

"Fine, go ahead and be rude. From now on I'm going to raise holy hell when you are and you're going to have to sit there and take it because no matter your excuse you do not have the right to be rude to anyone, no matter who you are."

What is your opinion on the subject?

[[[WARNING]]]

The words displayed here may or may not have been edited, and may or may not have taken place. The words said here are for example only, and are not here for defimation of character or to show discrimination towards any one individual.

The name Porcelain does not denote any specific person, and is to be taken only a username of an internet chatroom. Any similarities are due only to lack of imagination and coincidence only.

[[[WARNING]]]

------ Introduction ------

Vincent:  Hey man! How long you been here?
Porcelain: Oh, only a few moments, my backwards mullet wearing puny armed emo fiend.
Vincent:    You're losing your game, friend. You've been deduced to name calling, I've hardly ever seen you do so.

I believe that I have found a new type of Emo in this lifetime. I am not sure if it has been specifically classified yet, but until a suitable name comes up I'm going to call them RAGEmo's.( The name is a work in progress, feel free to leave a comment with a name suggestion. From this point on, the term will be refered to as R.E.)

What I have noticed of an R.E. is that they are constantly found online, at least 5 in a popular chatroom per a 24 hour period. They're not hard to find, and I'm sure each and every one of you have run into one before if you happen to frequent chatrooms. They also return often, dispite thier "utter disgust" with the room or the people in it. 

------ Warning Signs & Quick Combat ------

The signs of an R.E. are as follows :

1) Constantly trying to pick a fight with someone in the chatroom constantly pointing out the following :
 a) Lack of a life due to constant internet time
 b) Lack of intelegence (spelling, text, or use of grammer or words)
 c) flaws of age (no job, no money, no social life)
 d) flaws of sight (looks, style in clothes)
2) Like Scenesters, will look for acknowladgement and agreement from other Ragemo's.
3) Constantly in a state of "High Horse", feeling or expressing how they are better than you.
4) Ignores people who make a point and can disprove thier assumptions
5) Will claim that they are not looking for an argument when giving one.
6) Will talk about how the world is pathetic, and the people in it are worse.
7) When at a loss for words, or angered, will resort to being a 5 year old and call people names.

If you get into an argument with an R.E., be warned. They do not give up, because they are much too full of themselves. They believe you are the scum of the world, and that your words mean nothing.

However, if you want to shut one up there are ways to do it. They will, of course, come back later with a retort that means absolutely nothing and is far to late to have an impact, or will make up an excuse at a time when a flaw of thier own shows (Including not being able to disprove something you say) and say that they must go. Don't worry, however, they almost always return.

Porcelain: So if he's bored and wants to pass time maybe he should study political sciences. Then his entries might make a little more sense and would whine alot less to the ready.
Porcelain: *reader
Porcelain: ... This is a sure sign that I need coffee.
Porcelain: I will return.

Now, certen ways to combat an R.E. is to turn around what he or she is saying aginst themselves. With the constant internet time, comment on the fact that they themselves happen to be online quite a bit themselves. In a lack of intelegence, point out that his assumptions are based on absolutely no fact. With age, sight or spelling just ignore the comments. This will most likely do the most effective of combat, as it takes away the attention that they so highly prize.

To combat the High Horse state, use sign 5 aginst themselves. They say that the people in this world are pathetic. However, they themselves will do nothing but sit and whine about it. They may think of themselves as something great, but they are far to lazy to try and fix this problem that they see. An elitest never likes to be called lazy, this will throw them into further rage and can be rather entertaining.

You will notice that if you end up making them at a loss for words, if you've seriously shut them down, they will claim that you are not worthy of talking to. They will make up another assumption and claim that you aren't worth thier time. This is an easy way for them to continue to feel better than you, and get rid of the threat that opposes them. Take this as a sign you've gotten under thier skin, because the main reason they come into a chatroom is to screw with people to no extent. If they don't want to talk to you any further, it's only because they know that if they continue to they'll be made a fool of.

------ R.E. Tactics & In Depth Disection ------

R.E.'s main fuel is your anger. It makes them, for lack of a better term, get off. They thrive on it, it gives them the addreneline to say more and do more. Thier main parade begins with a baseless insult. It is beyond the "Your Mama's", it's not a direct insult of intelegence. It's often a direct attack at your personal life or personality itself.

What they expect you to do with the insult is to try to defend yourself. During your own defence, they pray on the fact you will be angered by the ideal that they are wrong. If you speak quickly, you will miss some crutial fact, and they will find another flaw, and continue on thier parade. If you speak slowly, they will have another insult out before you can defend your first, and will be further insulted upon the fact that you are slow.

Mix all this in with a few random insults out of nowhere, and they quickly pile up an assault of words and assumptions. Which, in real life is actually called "Assault" and is a criminal offense. (What did you think the "Assault" in "Assault & Battery" ment? However, this subject is another article for another time) As moronic as it sounds, it works.

Porcelain: Your blog entries say it all. Half of the time you don't even know what you are talking about and alot of it is formulated from your personal opinion. Not so much observatin or conviction concerning the matter.

The reason it works is because nobody is perfect, and everyone has flaws. Each point in your life can be taken in a wrong way. If you spell a word wrong, you can be called an idiot. If you are upset about something, you can be called emo. If you don't have a picture in an online profile, you can be called ugly. If you have a blog (hint hint) you can be called biased, opinionated and that you don't know what you're talking about. There is a long list that a person like this could pull from. The following is a very small example list :

1) Pictures
 A) Lack of picture
  I)If Male - Pedofile/Old: Faking age to get young women
  II)If Female - Ugly or is really a Guy and is Gay
 B) With Picture
  I) Comment on obvious flaws (Acne, obesity, bad haircut, dumbfounded look)
  II) steriotypical looks (Emo, Gay, Slut, Nerd, Goth, Scenester)
2) Lifestyle
 A) Extensive Online Time (No Outside Life)
  I) Friends in the Chatroom/Well Known
  II) Chat Time Logs
  III) Blog/Internet Journal/Forum Post Times
 B) Ineternet connection type
  I) Dial Up/Modem - Poor : Must be uneducated/lives in a trailor
  II) Cable/Wireless and higher - Rich : Must be a snob/bitch and stuck up.
 C) Smoking/Drinking - Weak for falling to addiction
3) Age
 A) Young (12-17)
  I) Cannot fend for yourself
  II) Feeding off Parents
  III) No Job
  IV) No Money
 B) Older (18-Up)
  I) Too old to be hanging around kids
  II) Looking for younger people who will solicite themselves
  III) Discrimination of Job
4) Webcam
 A) If Young (12-17) - Showing yourself off to other people (Slut if Female, Pervert if Male)
 B) If Older (18-Up) - Showing yourself off to younger people (Pedofileif Male, Whore if Female) 
5) Using alternative chat program - Must be a script kiddy/wanna be hacker. (In other words : Poser)
6) Religion (I'm not even going to get into this one, let's just say all religions can be twisted in pretty sick ways)

These things don't have to be true, in fact that's the power behind them. The internet is a place where people can, and usually do, come to be something that they are not. Everything else is left behind, therefore anything you say to defend yourself could be "Just another lie". There is no accurate defence aginst the accusations, making the amunition unavoidable. The world loves a juicy bit of drama, and this person is delivering it to them. You can't prove them wrong, but they don't need to be proven correct. The automatic setting in most persons mind for a bit of gossip is "True". Once you defend yourself, they've taken target. They will continue down the list until you reveal another fact for them to exploit. This will continue until they reach a pinacle.

This is thier climax. They receive an extreem rush, and feel that what they have just said will make an unavoidable impact, like the feeling a director would get when all the peices fall into place with perfect timing. In thier minds, there is nothing else you can say that will matter. After one such moment, if you do not respond with something that they cannot exploit, they will move on.

Porcelain: I think I'll just take you the way God intended for you to be took...
Porcelain: as a JOKE!
Porcelain: I'm done with ya

------ Combat Tips ------

There's not many ways to combat this type of person. One main tactic, however, is to ignore groundless facts. Insults are a pain in the ass, but why in the hell do you care? These things aren't true, the people who are around you won't believe them if they're your friends, and all you have to do to tick the R.E. off is twist thier words.

Once he goes on long enough, and you pay attention, you'll be able to do it. If he comments on the fact that someone spends too much time online and must have no life, ask the R.E. how long he spends online. Trust me when I say it will be in the high areas, but he will try to hide this fact somehow. If he comments on the fact someone forgets a period, or a comma, or perhaps spells a word wrong: There will be a time when you can do the same to him.

Your goal in all of this is to make the R.E., who deems themselves better than all others, to the same mental level as "Everyone else". If you can catch them in the same flaws that they insult, then you make them listen to the only people worth listening to, Them. They will not like being the same as you.

One tell-tale sign that you can see that shows you're getting to a R.E. is the fact that they will cling to any opertunity to make you seem less intelegent. Thier insults will become much more dramatic, and alot less understandable.

Vincent: You're getting ticked because I speak with infoulable logic and common sense.
Porcelain: It's infallible, you moron. You really are a pathetic excuse for a human being.

This is one such example, as well as a common one. A simple mistake of spelling advanced into a complete assumption of human life. R.E.'s will take any advangate to thier disposal to throw out a high grade insult, even with no base fact or background for the simple reason that it hits hard and fast. However, there is a slight flaw in this previous statement.

Before, Porcelain would of continued this insult with a remark on low intelegence, lack of funds from parents for a high grade school or perhaps a wasted attempt of trying to "seem more intelegent". But as you can see in this case, he has done nothing within connection. Not to mention he actually made a mistake in word usage, and this is very rare when it comes to R.E.'s

------ Final Words ------

By now, if you're actually combating one of these R.E.'s, you're more than likely having fun. I don't blame you one bit. The way these people conduct themselves it's nigh imposible to hit a nerve, but once you do it it becomes easier and easier every time. What they say means less and less, and your display in front of others will become amusing.

You will turn the person who was hated by everyone into someone who is laughed at by everyone. Eventually this person will dissapear into the darkness that is the internet, onto some new chatroom where he can become a nuisence again.

These people can also be found in real life. I'm sure you know a few. People who are just complete morons, sitting on a high horse, or claiming that they are better than you. It won't take you long to be able to find a few of these people in your place of work, at your school, or even inside your own home. They're everywhere!

Do us all a favor! With your help we can make people like this dissapear! Don't waste your time arguing unless you're seriously bored (Which does waste some time. This is the only use they have.) If you take away the attention that they crave, they must move onto the next place. If this word spreads far, then many people will ignore people such as this. Eventually this sad subculture will die out, and we can move on. It's now up to you.

I'd like to give a personal thank you to a devoted reader going by the alias Porcelain_Reality. I know this man from a Yahoo chatroom I frequent, and it seems I've hit a few nerves with the kid. He now resorts to continually mocking me behind the ignore feature, pointing out bodily flaws, calling names, and ranting about my blog posts.

How do I know this, dispite the fact he's on ignore? Well, sometimes at 3-4am in the morning I need something to pass the time so I take him off iggy. His whining and complaints are an easy argument, and tend to pass the hours quickly.

This is the type of person I was talking about in my "Filthy Resolutions" post. The ones who will pull reality out of thier ass, and then claim you have no idea what it is. However, I've got a blog post for this man. He is living within his own normality, and that's what my next article is going to go on : Normality.

Now some of you might ask : Why do I thank this person?

It's simple. Dispite his rude words, his ignorant comments and his total lack of common sense when it comes to logic : He reads my posts and he's very cheap advertisement. He talks about my blog all the time, whines about the pictures located here, and has (on occasion) given links to the place so that others may try to agree with him. Through the course of me hitting a nerve, he does nothing but spread the word about me.

Am I afraid people are going to believe in his way? Nah. I don't care what you people think of me. Go ahead. Think I've got a huge forehead, that my dress is beyond normality, and that my arms are skinny.

You may hate me, but you're still a moron. :)

Thank you, Porcelain!

You will not believe how much complete morons have ruined our every day lives. People make this world so freaking easy to live in that it's truely pathetic nowdays. You will see the most moronic things all over the place happening, just because some dumbf**k didn't like how it worked.

Example number one would have to be some sleeping pills my mother uses. You can turn it to the side and check side effects. The first one just happens to be "May Cause Drowsyness".

OH MY GOD! Why on earth would anyone need this warning? Are you that freaking stupid that you don't realize that if you take a pill that's going to make you sleepy... first you are going to be drowzy? Are there actually people in this world that need this kind of pre-message?

The answer is Yes. There is some moron reading this blog post right now going "Well, guh, if I hadn't read that side effect, I would of gotten in my car and drove over to my friends house after taking those last time! I would of fell asleep in my car and drove off the side of the mountain. DUUURRR."

Well listen, buddy. If you, or anyone, is dumb enough to not go lay the hell down after taking some sleeping pills... you deserve to friggin run your head into a wall while getting sleepy and tripping over the cat. Go fall on a freaking knife, do us all a favor.

This is just the beginning of the million and one things I could mention. People say the most idiotic things without even realizing it. Brooke Shields said the following when trying to convince everyone that she would be a good Anti-Smoking spokesperson : "Smoking Kills. If you die, you've lost something very important in your life." I don't know about you... but I'm not quite convinced. It goes to show you, however, how high up a complete moron can go. Society has failed if they let a complete moron lacking absolutely any common sense or rational thought get into publicity or ... oh wait. I shouldn't go further. I'll get into a George W. Bush bashing string and the FBI will delete my post.

Or how about the infamous videogame series Xenosaga? This is a fantastic game! The storyline really makes you think, and it actually takes a bit of intelegence to understand and comprehend... but due to that fact it didn't sell that well in it's second game of the series. They fired the top two writers, and hired people who will write a more mundaine and easier to understand game now.

Thank you, morons of the f***ing world. You just ruined a game that is on par with the freaking Matrix. Sure, it's difficult to understand. Sure, you're not going to get all of it without a bit of thought. I am sick and tired of living in a world where everything is spoonfed and nothing is left to your imagination or own research. Get up off your lazy ass and figure it out yourself!

Whatever happened to survival of the fittest? Stupid people used to die off because they didn't know any better, and this world was a much better place because of it. I can't say if I would be one to survive in a world like that because I know that there are stronger people out there than little ol' me, but at least I could die knowing that all the other stupid people were dead. At least that would be a world I'd be proud to die for.

You know, I'm seriously getting tired of the way things are handled. Everything starts out with great intentions, but nobody has the right mind to finish anything anymore. It has been my distinct honor to see so many great ideas or great intentions be reduced to complete rubble or piles of crap within moments just because the person thought that the idea was all you needed.

The internet is one such idea. Great idea, great intentions... but ultimately crap. I don't know how many times I have to see "You have no life." or "Buy this Ringtone!" in combination with "ASL???". The internet used to be an awesome way of transferring information across huge distances within moments. Now it's nothing more than a collection of filth.

Every time I figure out how to get rid of one of the problems, another one appears. I'm sick and tired of walking into a chatroom and finding some moron in the mood to fight, just because he doesn't get enough attention at home. When I come into a common place to talk to a few friends, I don't expect to be sit and told that I have no grasp on reality or have no life by someone who's only reality is the insults that he or she can create on a fly. A hypocryte has no business telling me that I have something wrong with my life.

Could I be doing something better with my time? Sure, maybe, but that's my choice. I could be paiting my house, cleaning my room, chopping some wood, heck.. maybe even calling a few people and checking out what kind of party is going on right now, but I decided to go online, check up on a few people and keep with my usual "I'm bored" routine.

While I'm on the subject of the internet, and it's filth, what is the deal with these spam Instant Message bots nowadays? I can be sitting on yahoo, doing absolutely nothing at all except looking into blank space and get at least 10 messages within 10 minutes trying to sell me porn, single women, ring-tones, penis enlargement, ect. This is really getting pathetic. Leave the advertisement for websites. You got a problem with sales and products? Maybe you should look into a better friggin ad campaign than flooding my chatroom with "Hi! <3 Buy [XPill] to make [XBody Part] [XSize] and find your [XDream Date] while downloading [XRingtone] all the while watching [XPorn Star] stick [XRandom Object/Body Part] in [XAnimal/Person]!! xgfk" Oh yeah, I wanna buy some of that!!

What continually suprises me is that people online actually deal with these things in a normal routine. There are actually people out there who will take the person insulting them and argue back, instead of using an ignore function to remove the problem. There are actually people out there that don't get a spam blocker to remove pop up ads, or still download the ILoveYou.exe and run it, expecting to find out who actually loves them.

There are still people who believe that if they foward that email to 15 people that they're going to open thier wallet and see 100 bucks pop out of nowhere, or that they're never going to fall in love again if they don't. I saw a chain letter the other day that I absolutely loved. It didn't say "Find out who you love". It said if I didn't send this to 20 people within 20 minutes that I would die. Forget this love crap, forget getting money, this thing threatened my life. I asked it to marry me, because I hadn't seen it a million and one times before. We're getting a condo in Florida next week.

My new years resolution has been the following. I'm going to quit being a part of the problem. I'm going to start with this blog. Blog/Journals online are one main part of internet filth. Nobody wants to know how bad daddy treated you when you were a child. Get therapy. Nobody wants to know how trashed/drunk you got last night. You got trashed because you are just that. Trash.

I'm going to post worthy material. Posts worth reading, that excite the mind, make you think, make you laugh, and make you wonder. I'm not going to whine about how [someone] did [something] on [someday] and I feel so [some feeling] about it. Tell your friends, it should be rather entertaining.

And lastly, here's a warning for all people entering the internet. This is a dangerious and annoying place. I've been here for quite some time, I know most things wrong with it, I know how it works, and I've beaten the End Boss. (He was hard, by the way) If you are going to venture into this place, don't do it on the fly. Don't enter into a chatroom with 100 people and insult someone without knowing who they are. Don't come in here to vent. Don't come in here to make yourself something you're not. Come in here to be you, be kind, be friendly, and be aware. There are things lurking around every corner that wants to tick you off, crash your computer and make you feel like you "MUST BUY NOW!". Learn to control yourself, and you learn to control others. Welcome to the internet, now get out of my way.

America. Land of the Free, welcoming anyone and everyone. Tolerent of beliefs and cultures of all nations and ... wait a minute. What happened here? All of the sudden I feel like I'm being smacked in the back of the head by God for typing a lie.

You know, this country was created so that we could be our own people. So that people could come, do as they please, worship as they wanted, say what they wished and could be the happy little people that they wanted to be without being disturbed.

Now we're turning into a black and white society so that we don't step on anyone elses toes. I can't even say Merry Christmas anymore! This is complete bullcrap. This country was BUILT on the intentions and freedoms of God, and now I can't even say a word related to Christ because some freaking budist or satanic is going to be "Offended" when I put baby Jesus and a Nativity scene on my lawn.

Everyone needs to just calm down, and wake up. By all rights and means, I understand if you don't want me to force a religion upon you, or a belief. I'm not here to do that, but by no means do you have the right to tell me to hide it. I am sick and tired of everyone else wanting this place to turn into a friggin log cabin, brown wearing site "Because the stone offends the dwarves, and wearing red will offend the whores."

The world is going to Hell, and America is standing right at the gates knocking, showing everyone the way. Don't get me wrong, I love America. I love living here, I love the land, I'd defend it to the end... however, I HATE the way America is run. I hate the way people act in it, I hate the way people treat me in it, and I hate the fact that I can't do a darn thing about it other than type in a freaking blog about it.

Well guess what people, you may get offended... but I'm always going to say "In God I Trust" and "Merry Christmas". I'm not going to put my bible in my closet just because you haven't read it, or believe in it. And if you don't like it, and want to tell me the million and one reasons why I'm wrong for believing what I believe, then I'll tell you the one reason I'm right. You don't want to hear it? Don't start talking about it in the first place.

I'm done.

I saw this person with an above average intelegence in a chatroom today obviously filled with average IQ persons today. He didn't seem very pleased, I chuckled to myself.

He complained on how no one could carry a worthy conversation with him, when I spoke up.. speaking his "tongue" so to speak. I don't fancy myself much of an intulectual, and hate speaking with huge words that make me sounds smart... but I have been told my IQ is somewhere between 140 and 160 back when I was in the 5th grade.

Anyway, I started talking to him, wondering what he was doing in there in the first place. Let's rewind a bit. He's in an obviously middle IQ room, complaining about how no one understands him. It's a bit of an obvious question, no?

That's like wearing leather to a classy wedding, and then wondering why everyone's looking at your assless chaps. I mean COME ON!

So here I am, talking to this person with his ass hanging out while the brides over in the corner scratching her head in a white dress, explaining to him how he's not exactially in the place he should be with the way he's acting. I'm all up for doing what you want, but seriously...

If you do one thing, in an area that expects something else, do not be suprised when you get the reaction you deserve. This goes for alot of things, and I'm not going into the rest.

Moral of the story : If you're going to wear assless chaps, go for it. Just make sure that you should, first.

True stories, I will swear upon all that is holy!

Kid was sitting on the bus. He had to be maybe 12 or 13 years old. This is what he had to say to his friends :

You know, I was over at Mc. Donalds the other day... you know, with my car and stuff, because I can drive you know. Yeah, I can. I'm cool like that. Anyway, I was at Mc. Donalds and I saw these mexicans. And you know them, They were speaking that... that mexican talk they speak. So I stood there for a second, next to my car and all, and I was thinking about picking a fight with one of em. I wasn't askurred. I ain't askurred of nothin.

Heck, I wouldn't be askurred even of a mountain lion. I'd grapple it, break it's arms and take it down. I'd take on a bear too. I'd slap it across the face, and say I took it's mom out in my car, because I have a car you know, and it'd run away crying. I wouldn't be askurred at all. Except by a wolf, I'd be askurred of them. They'll come atcha, and they've got those teeth you know. They're mean, them wolves.

------------------------------------------

A kid walks into school, he had a black eye. He was embarassed about how it happened, but before he could figure out a different explination someone asked him how he got it. This is what he said :

Oh! This? This is what I get for being a nice guy, that's what this is! Well, I was riding down the street in my car, and all of the sudden I see this Grizzley Bear! And it was about to attack this poor defenseless bunny rabbit! Well, I couldn't have this happening!

I got out of my car and started yelling at that mean ol' grizzley bear! I told him he was a mean ol' grizzley bear and kicked him in the butt. He ran home crying, like the bully he was. I bent down to check on the bunny rabbit... and he socked me in the eye! I was so furious!

The bunny rabbit was scared then, he knew I was mad. He hopped away real quick like, and got onto his little bunny moped. I don't know why he had a moped, maybe it was a gift or something? Anyway I jumped into the little side carrage of the moped, and started harassing that bunny rabbit because he punched me in the eye... as you can plainly see.

I took out my knife, and cut that rabbits foot off! I laughed at him so hard, and shook it in his face saying "Not so lucky now, is it?!?!" and then threw it in his face. The bunny fell off the moped, and then I crashed into a tree. I'm lucky I only got the black eye, I tell ya.

----------------------

I hope you have enjoyed these stories. They're two of my favorites. These were actually told at my school about 3 years ago. They were both heard from my brother, first by a kid on the bus and second by a friend both me and him still talk to. It's a tribute to both the stupidity and imagination of youth. Long live viable minds. :)

I think it's safe to announce this, after a week. I haven't had a cigarette since about ... oh I'd say about 10pm last sunday. In 2 and a half hours, that's one week with no smoking... and the first week (which is supposed to be the worst) will be over. I've quit smoking! You may all applaude and congradulate me now. I'm so confident I even changed my profile details! Whee!

Alright, that's really all I had to say. I hope you enjoyed this worthless blog. Leave congratulatory donations in the comment box.

Wow... seven days till Christmas. Isn't that just so exciting? Yeah, I didn't think so. In that case I'll be sending all your presents back.

You know, things are actually looking up for me this holiday season. I thought it was going to be a depressing weekend, but I've found someone entertaining to talk to. I'm not ready for a relationship (Because I know one of you out there is going to be asking me who, what, where, and all those questions that you know you shouldn't...) but she is a pretty good friend at this point.

What is the deal with relationships anyway? What makes them so special? The ability to be with someone? The ability to hold hands, or snuggle with someone at night? How about that lovely little extra of being able to pass gas around them, and not have to say a word?

Things of this nature confuse me. I'd love for someone to be around, but I don't want the bonds of a relationship. I don't want restrictions on what I can or can't do, I just want a soft friendship/room mate thing. Does that make me selfish? I don't think so...

I've had so many people that have been asking me about relationships lately. How to make them work, what to do in "this" situation, what the correct thing to say is, or... the classic... "How do I get myself out of this mess I put myself in?" advice.

Let me make this specifically clear, right now people. I do not know anymore. STOP asking me! You're talking to a man who has been in more relationships by 21 than my mother has done her entire life... and she's been married 8 times now at 50! In all of that, I haven't been able to keep a single one, make any of them smile for a dependently long time, or make them work in general for an extended period.

Everyone here is a ring, looking for that diamond. Some of you are not yet molded right, some are ready to be set. Me, however, is a perfectly molded ring that has been tarnished, beaten, stepped on, and left in the bottom of some drawer lost and forgotten. If you want to figure out how to set a diamond, don't go for something that is sub par. Go to something that sparkles, not something that still needs some work.

Oh, and tell me what you think of the winter colors. I rather like them, myself. :)

Alright, I'm keeping the fall colors for about a week, then I'll be moving onto Winter. I just really hope I can find a suitable winter motief without looking completely homosexual.

What is it about colors that can make another person seriously think about different genders or sexuality? Pink, light blue, most purples, some reds, white... what is the deal? They all have "Girl" written all over them, and if a man were to be seen wearing them... "Oh, that guy must be gay... he's wearing pink."

Sinse when did colors have genders? Is that how some other mid colors were born? Pink met up with Blue and created a purple, female in gender, but loved just the same...

Or how about when Yellow met up with Green? Brown was exceedingly manly, but looked like total S***.

I guess we're just always gonna have to wonder why in the world colors can make the man... or the woman, or the halfway inbetween surgery and hormone pills. Who knows? Such is the way life is, and to question that... well that's a scary thing indeed.

First off, before I start this post.  FEAR THE URBAN NINJA . Yes, that's right, we now have smilies. My hats off to Timbo, he has done it again.

Now then, I am having a serious problem with my imagination lately. I think the Gnomes are attacking again. You know the gnomes, those little buggers that climb in your head when you have a really good thought and they pluck it right out and run off into the hills, laughing and smoking gnome pot the whole way? I heard last night they upgraded from thought theft to eyeliner, or so says my friend Shae.

They're evil little buggers that are quite predictable, yet nigh uncatchable. Everytime you have something great on your hands, thier good thought radar goes off and they jump into your ear at lightning speed, dance around on the frontal lobe for a little while, break out the hacksaws, steal the thought and leave everything in total dissarray.

Some, however, don't leave. They set up residense in your brain, which causes hyperactivity due to the blasting rave music, ringing in your ears due to pathetic tap dancing, or severe migranes from them trying to install indoor plumbing down your spine and through your skull.

Oh, and the government knows about it, why do you think all the docters tell you not to put Q-tips so deep into your ear? I'll tell you why! Some of the gnomes are selected CIA officers, super stealthy. Even past the Urban Ninja level of stealth, and we all know about the urban ninjas. They come in when you're having that one breakthrough thought that would re-form and complete your society and economy, or solve world hunger, and "SNATCH" it's gone. Back up to the CIA for lock down and perminate brain washability. You never remember a think, it's harmless, painless and downright ruthless. The government wouldn't want you taking out some of thier top agents with a mere Q-Tip.

I sat down the other day with one of these gnomes, however they stole that part of my brain about 10 minutes ago and left me with nothing but an empty shell for the interview. Must of been some revealing stuff.

What? You say you've never heard of the Gnomes? I'm afraid they've gotten to you already my friend. Yes, I'm sorry. Next time wear a hat made of tin-foil and stuff rabbit testicles in your ears. This won't help a bit, mind you, but it will make for a great story during my next christmas party.

So in summery, the gnomes are stealing your thoughts, the CIA's out to ruin the world, and the best pot in the world is grown by little thought thieves. Pass it, my tiny little ninja brother.

Oigh, the days have been hectic. Turmoil and stress, but isn't that what the holidays are all about? Bending yourself over backwards and spending every bit of money you've earned up over the year just to make someone else give you a fake smile so they can re-package or re-sell what you give them? What?! It's NOT?!

Christmas has become something simply horrible in so many peoples eyes. A day that is supposed to be the holiday of family love and giving has turned into some kind of sick greed fest where everyone holds out thier hands and expects more more more. I'm so tired of everyone comming up to me and asking what I'm getting them for Christmas. I am not someone with alot of money, but everyone expects something.

Why can't people just stop rolling around in thier money and help out someone else, and make a serious difference that would make someone seriously realize the spirit of Chrismas? I'm honestly thinking about going down to a homeless soup kitchen and serving food to the homeless during the holiday. I'd rather see a smile on someones face and know they truely are happy for what I give them, than sift and search shelves for 3 hours for one person, and then they give me some fake smile all the while think "They could of spent more money and gotten me (fill in blank)."

On other topics, I'm going simply crazy. I've been stuck on the same two CD's for the past two months. Korn - Issues, and Marylin Manson - Lest we forget, The Best Of. I honestly don't even listen to the music anymore, it's more of white noise to me at this point so I don't sit blankly in silence as I type to unknown people in a chatroom I'm hardly known in. I feel like some troll under a bridge who's supposed to ask for toll money, but instead has gotten so used to the sound of people overhead that I don't bother to get up. That, and I'd be green... and quite ugly. Maybe I don't feel like a troll afterall... I'm definately not green.

I'm going to try to blog more, that's my gift to you guys. I'll spend the rest of the night trying to figure out one of my usual "Make ya laugh and think at the same time" posts. Merry Christmas Meg. :)

I don't know how many of you have heard of this game. It hasn't been seriously hyped, I have yet to see one comercial on it, but I'm sure that if you have you've been a little interested in this game. It displays a very dynamic approach to action titles from the very feel of it. Recently I was able to come into contact with this new title, and I am here to give you my thoughts on the game, as well as some valuable advice. Let's get right to it.

Shadow of the Collossus is a title that was released recently for the Playstation 2, and it has some things very worth note. The storyline is very bland and narrow, about the young hero's love being slain in a fassion not mentioned so is taken to a forbidden land rumored to be watched over by beings of light. These beings are said to have powers beond imagination, even to control the souls of the dead. Traveling to the land, however, is strictly forbidden.

The hero, who cannot be more than 18 to 20 years of age by the looks of him, is not your average game type personallity. He's clumsy, off balance, and very much in need of a workout. However, through means unmentioned he has come across an ancient sword. This sword is seen by the beings of light inside a temple of the forbidden land, where he asks for this girl to live once more.

The beings speak to him from on high, saying that they will do what he asks if he kills all collossus in the forbidden land. He agrees, and sets out on his trusty steed.

Gameplay : Straight and to the point. Other than the collossus in this vast and wide ranged world you are allowed to be in... absolutely nothing else exists that lives. Nothing to random encounter, nothing to talk to, nothing to find more storyline on. Absolutely straight to the point. This is a forbidden land after all, so nothing goes in, nothing comes out. Great how a clumsy man was able to get this ancient sword and procure way inside, but nothing else that would pose a threat can seem to manage.

The controls are very hard to get ahold of, but with practice it becomes a tad bit easier. To find your way, your ancient sword can gather and project light from it's blade when held up in the sunlight, focusing on your "Next target" collossus' location.

The battles are intense, and drawn out. The action inside them make it well worth the wait to some players. The monstrosities are easily more than 200 times the size of your character, and will litterally have to be climbed, shot down with your trusty bow, tricked, blinded, fooled, flipped over and gripped onto under water to be able to be taken down. This would seem an easy task, except for the AI of these "Boss's" is extreemly lifelike. They do think for themselves. However, there are ways to manipulate thier movements, and turn it into a routine.

During every battle, after a certen time period where an experienced player would of already begun his main attack, the "voice from above" will call down a hint in riddle. Sometimes it has to do with your surroundings, sometimes it is so cryptic that you can't figure it out until you've already beaten the monster. Either way, it's up to your trusty gamepad skills and quick thinking to do what you need to do.

Be that as it may, the gameplay is a serious wash, rinse, repeat combo. The only thing to do is to find the next boss, and kill it. Find, Kill, Repeat. Another thing that will seriously hinder you is the free camera angle that will reposition itself due to surroundings. If you want to keep your eye on the boss, you'll find it very frusterating to be slammed up into a wall and your camera to go over your head focused down upon you as you try to get up, instead of watching the boss to see what's going to happen next.

Graphics : The graphics composed in this game are at the same time phenominal and pathetic. The cutscenes are grainy on purpose for effect, but your main character will sometimes seem like a paper cut out aginst dark background. The collossus detail is amazing, however it's not the best they could be. You can, at times, be scaling the side of a mountain, and see the repeating graphic box used for detail on cracks and portions on other sides due to the inovative fog detail they've created.

Things that are nice, however, are the camera angel swings. The vision of the background will blurr, causing the same effect as if you were to turn your own head. This is a great effect, and could very well cause you to hold down the camera movement (Right Analog) to the right for a little while just to enjoy it. Another nice addition is the Fog effect I mentioned earlier. Things do not dissapear when too far away. If you're more than 10 frames away, it doesn't cut out as if it magically "dissapeared" like in most games. You could be miles away, and if you had a clear shot to the main Temple in the game and looked back... it would most definately be there. The last great effect worth mentioning would be the lighting. You will get blinded in bright deserts, or in bright areas, and the shadowing and light movement is worth looking at. These effects alone show why everything else is so down, but it doesn't make up for them.

Overall : The game is a mixture of a subtle puzzle and low class action. They could of done so much more with the game if they had tried, but the lack of attention to all details, content, and basic replay value makes this game a true "Rent before you Own" scenerio. Mind you, it will take some time to beat, but if you're seriously that into the game after the first three collossus you're going to rent it quite a few times, unless you go and buy it for yourself.

Gameplay: 6 - The game shows some unique ways of doing things, and some battles that you will never forget.

Graphics: 5 - The attention to some, but not all, graphics makes it very hard to see the needle in the heystack. Not your everyday eyecandy. More like the fresh gumball in the pile of stale ones.

Content: 2 - Lack of storyline, lack of anything except collossus, and just a smidgen of something to do on the side makes it very easy to spot plot holes and not fun to follow through with. Undieing love may do it for you, but when it go's towards a "No quesitons asked" folly where questions absolutely need to be answered... it's not exactially a good thing as far as videogames go.

Originality: 7 - Battles like you've never seen, a world like you've never known, and different thought all the way through. You won't see very much like this, but at times you'll be wondering where your boomerang, bombs, and Tri-force are.

Replay Value: 4 - Once you've done it all, you've just about done it all. All that's left is to hunt down fruit and blue tailed gekko's to make your person stronger. Not much of a reason to come back a second round, if you ask me.

Overall: 4

What is the deal with chatting online? I've run into so many people that will shorten words that are easy enough to type out. You into u, Are into r, to into 2, it's friggin stupid if you ask me. What's so hard about actually typing things out that will take you a whole two keystrokes to finish? Even past that, people who use numbers in replacement of letters, and then can't even spell the word correctly in the first place. What, does that make you cool? Was there some kind of convention when the first chatroom came into play that went like :

Person :Ok, we're the first. We need some special things that don't happen anywhere else.

Person2 :Oh, I know! W3 c4n t41k l1k3 th1s s0 n0 0n3 kn0ws wtf w3r3 t41king 4b0ut!

Person :That's a good idea! Let's make up a new way to type so that when new people come in they're totally lost and get agravated. That will be the best thing in the world! WE'RE SO COOL!

Person 3: Oh, and we can make words shorter, and easier to type. U li3k tht id34?

Person :Genious! Let's make that happen too! People will feel at ease while looking like COMPLETE F'N MORONS but they won't have to type as much!

I also love how people can get into a chatroom, talk like one of these people and then critisize me when I happen to not spell a word correctly. As if they have any room to speak up and poke fun at the fact i hit the wrong button when typing with a near 100wpm. I also hate the fact that people get agravated when someone asks them to just type out the word, and they feel the excuse "It's shorthand, everyone does it (also seen as : it's shrthnd, evry1 dos it)" is a valad excuse.

What is so wrong with having good grammer in chat? The fact of using a period or a question mark in the correct place, or correct capatilization or a comma in the correct place saves alot of chatting if you ask me. Capatilization is the difference between "I helped Jack off the horse" and "I helped jack off the horse". MUCH clearer!

And what's with the weird capatal and lower case words? WhY do SOmE pEoPLE FeeL tHe nEeD tO SpeAK LikE ThIS? What does it do? And how does one decide what to capatolize and what not to? Is there some kind of code, and if so why bother going by it when you could just type fast and normal?

Spread the word, speaking correctly in a chatroom is COOL! Everyone does it, it's a good thing!

I just don't get the point anymore. One can try so hard to please others, and the other will still find things to crap on one about. There is no pleasing the mass majority of the world. I say something to be nice to one person, contitions and surroundings change, priorities change, felings change... I make my own decision which should be respected and kept between me and another individual and now I'm going to catch shit for standing up for myself in said respectful mannor.

I feel like the little train that couldn't. Like I'm chugging along, got a deadline for 5pm, get in a wreck along the way due to a terrorist, make sure that there are no casualties due to quick thinking and a sharp eye... and I happen to show up an hour late for delivery... and my heroism doesn't mean anything to the conductor. "You were supposed to be here an hour ago!" "I'm sorry, I was busy making sure 200 people didn't die due to a terrorist attack" "That's no excuse! You said you would be here AN HOUR AGO! Now I'm going to have to overnight these packs of radioactive material to Afganistan, and it's gonna cost me a fortune! AND IT'S YOUR FAULT!!!" "I'm sorry, I'll just read the mind of terrorists next time and let everyone die."

Do people ever realize that there is more to life than just them? Someone once told me that the world is a selfish and greedy place, and that I was going to have a rough time for not playing by the rules... but honestly I don't want to be that type of person. Am I wrong for this? If not, why in the hell should I have a hard time for it?

Sometimes it feels like everyone is aginst me, trying to make me fail. However, I know this isn't the case... I try to believe that there are people working for me, cheering me on, wishing and praying that I succeed in everything I do, but in times like this it's very difficult to see who's your friend and who's just trying to pay attention to themselves, without care for others.

One of these days I'll be over all of this, I'll have a nice pine box and six feet of dirt over my head. I'll sleep for ages, and be rewarded with whatever does happen at the end of life. Even if it's nothing, it'll be better than a hotch-potch happy/sad life.

Perhaps I'm just too young to understand how the world really works, or how to deal and cope with it. These things will come in time, I'm sure, but at the moment I'm befreet of thought on how to deal with subjects, the correct things to say or the right people to say them to.

Alright, this rant has ended, go along with your lives. It doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things as it is.

Disclaimer : I do not proclaim with this post that my life is any better/worse than anyone else. I understand, under full knowladge and agreement, that my posting of this information will not, in any way shape form or logical existance, change my feelings, surroundings, or make life easier on me. Vincent & Blogs 4 Me holds no accountability for moments of stress, anger, disillusion, cough, diper rash, yeast infection or sensitive nipples that this post may or may not cause. By reading this material, you accecpt and understand these terms and agree not to reply harshly as if I was a 13 year old goth emo kid who won't stop saying "Why me?!", and also hold no liability aginst said persons for any damages resulting from outbursts of any kind, physical, mental or emotional, from this blog.

Thank you for your time.

Ok, so I guess my mind hasn't been up to snuff enough to be posting lately. Can't blame me though. I've had alot on my mind, and none of it has been Blog worthy in my opinion.

Thanksgiving is comming up soon, whee! I've always enjoyed this holiday, considering that it's litterally the best meal I get all year. My mother seems to have a problem with cooking lately. (Yes, I'm 20 years old and living with my mother, don't point out the obvious...) Seems there's only a good homecooked meal about once a week, twice if we're lucky. Any other time it's cold sandwitches or fried buritto's (till those run out... god they're so good). What happened to the good old "Cook for your family" deal? Even Ymir the frost giant, I'll bet his mother cooked for him. That's how he got to be as big as he is. Won't somebody think of me like Ymir's mother thought for him?!

In other news, I'm in the middle of a family fued that's going to come to a head this Thursday. I've been invited to thanksgiving by my grandparents, who seem to be fighting with my mother at the moment. This is going to be an interesting outcome, because my mother still has yet to decide what she's going to do for this Thanksgiving. Could very well be she treats it like any other day... and me missing out on a great home cooked meal is not something I'm ready to do yet. However, if I go with my grandparents, christ the hell I'll catch.

What to do... what to do. I'll talk to her about it, but if she can't offer up a deal as good as Grandma's home cooked stuffing... I'm SO outta here.

Ever feel like someone's in your head? I was talking to a girl today and nearly everything I said she would say at the same time. Freakin creepy! I always wondered what it would be like in someones head. Like if there would be furnature, or files for memories or something. How weird it would be to sit down on a brain sofa and start reading through the thoughts of someone. I'd have entertainment forever, especially in those people's minds who never stop thinking. I'd love to get in the head of a few people, and figure out what in the heck is wrong with them... but if they've got so many problems I doubt they'd have sufficent furnature.. and thier filing system for memories would be hectic. It'd take me years to figure out why in the heck they are the way they are.

But then, would you want to know? Imagine how screwed up your own mind is... I know mine's totally wacked out. Imagine the bad thoughts, the threats, the scary images or nightmares... I don't want to hop in someone's mind and be attacked by the 18 armed muntant from Pangnooga or something. That freaky monster would have me for lunch faster than you can think up something to stop it, and that's really fast considering how fast you can think things up.

Maybe the Urban Ninja's could help out...

I always like to think that there are forces behind the scenes we don't know about. I had a friend tell me once that he met one of the real Men In Black, and it's not one of those alien hunter screwballs. It's some guy in a black tux that walks around america carrying a briefcase with a bomb in it, he times it, leaves it there, and some guy (Another man in black) comes, defuses it, and leaves with it. Thus the game of cat and mouse continues.

I love thoughts like that. A million and one societies that we don't know about. I'd love to hear about Urban Ninjas or something. I could just imagine black cloaked weirdo's ninja hopping from roof to roof in New York or something on the hunt for criminals or things to steal, all Ninja Turtles style or some crap.

I could just see it. Urban Ninjas, using metal pipes picked up in some alleyway, using kung-fu on the local chinese resturant just for a bite to eat. Then using cloud/memory gas to make them all forget about it, and blame the food dissapearance on bad rat infestation or something.

Then they would return to the Urban Ninja lair for a nice bowl of Ramen (since they're so lacking in funds, and it's so cheap) and pour the chinese food over it for flavor. After dinner they would retire to an engaging game of charrades, because none of them speak... ever. They use keen little urban ninja sign language that consists of an array of passing gas, weird leg gestures, eye movements and metal pipe swaying.

Ahh urban ninjas... you're so cleaver...